I remember being at the DeHoop's dairy in Oregon one afternoon and one of the cows went into labor. I was maybe ten. The process was brutal, forelegs came out first, a chain/rope was tied on, then the other end tied to a swinging gate. The guys pushed and pulled on the gate until the head came out, then it seems like one more pull and the calf was 'delivered'.
It was dead.
My first real brush with life and death, as I remember it. I still kinda tear up (don't tell the guys!) Little Lion has been asking a lot of questions about death recently, trying to wrap his 4 year old head around it. He's got heaven, he's got that Jesus is there, he knows happiness, he understands that heaven is better than here. but how much should he know.
Little Lions' idol, my boss, had his mother pass away this weekend in a car accident. Mr. Idol's dad was in pretty bad shape, from what I hear, broken bones, and for an aged man that can be serious. He was wrestling with 'daddy, who died?' and 'when did she die' and 'how come she died?' and then back again to 'what happened to Mr. Idol's dad?' Four Yeas Old This Kid!
Pop asked me last night to take his dogs to the pound. It's a guaranteed death sentence (Scout & LeRoy are pitbulls, and as kind as they may be, aren't on the top of any one's adoption list!) I don't mind doing it, in fact I'm fine with doing it, but the question is Little Lion. Sure I can do it after work. I could probably even do it during lunch. But what about Little Lion? Should he see? Should he go? He'll eventually know when they're gone. I don't mind taking him, but would it be beneficial for him? Was the still birth too much for me, should I have been older? How does euthanasia get filed in a Little Boy's memory. How important is the sanctity of Mr. Idol's mom's life and the contrast of the lives of Scout and LeRoy?
I want my little boy to understand, maybe even cry because life is so precious, but I don't want him to see/know too much, too soon.
Daddy Lion
10 years ago
How nice for us to hear an old story told by our son. I remember it too, but had to leave because of the methodology which was very routine to them. Then I remember when you came into the house with your Dad how sad you were. So,.... Sometimes life brings us experiences before we are ready for them and those help us grow and depend on the Lord or parents guidance but basically when a child asks questions he's ready for an answer to those questions - but only those questions, no elaboration unless it is asked. My question to you - has he ask the difference between animals and people dying - you know the "soul" thing? Maybe him taking the dogs with you will be good IF he has. Otherwise, he's probably still dealing with basics. We have a tendency to think they are asking more than they are asking then telling more than they can handle at the time.
ReplyDeleteThere is a great childrens book out called "When Grandpa Dies" that you may want to get ahold of. Grandma Lion
so... I like what James Dobson teaches about this. In a nut shell when speaking to kids about death only answer their questions. They probably don't really want to know as much as we tend to tell. This apllies in other areas as well:)
ReplyDeletethe know it all oldest sister:)